There is something so beautiful about love that seems to intrigue us all, in spite of being hurt and pained by its loss, the want for it never seems to decrease. On the contrary, the more we love the more we want it. Even those who think they have only loved once and will not go through it again because it hurts or because of their thinking that love only happens once, they yearn for love from behind their shut doors and the more they do the harsher towards tenderness and kindness they become. Eventually after many years have passed you do find them love again, but after wasting a number of years holding back from their natural desires.
Love is beautiful, it is the soul of our existence; it is the fuel of our spirit and spark of liveliness.
Yet, how can we maintain it as a cherished and wanted thing that would not hurt anymore? How can love be the pure beauty it is?
We need to acknowledge that those people who walk into our lives and fill up our days and hearts with joy may not necessarily stay forever. Everyone we meet and is welcomed into our existence is there to add something to our lives or to teach us something, some are meant to stay for periods longer than others. We need to cherish every moment with such people, and as hard as it may seem, we need to be ready to embrace them and let them go with an open heart full of more love. By doing so we are not only keeping the beauty they hold in our hearts for a long time, we are also releasing them well.
If we look at breakups we notice how many times they turn really ugly, and in order for us to accept that they are no longer there, we either turn this love into despise or place many faults on the other to make them seem as the wrong choice in the first place, but this is not true is it? What was beautiful while it lasted is just that, beautiful while it lasted, the faster we reach such a conclusion the faster we move on. When we overcome this phase mindfully and allow our hearts to bleed the pain and hurt out, we keep our heart open, and as we acknowledge that that love was beautiful and release it, we allow ourselves to remain alive and open for life. We allow ourselves to grow!
Why do we want to fall in love in the first place? This is a very good question, the sparks, bewilderments and dazzling emotions, the weightless days and light spirited moments that have us flying in motion, are the emotions that shine and the feelings that make it so amazing and beautiful to be in love, yet making such feelings last is the challenge and the reasons behind why we love is the key.
I believe in the natural sparks and connection that takes place between any two people when they first meet, it is powerful and is like taking a leap into someone else’s existence, as if you have known each other for so long, it is so natural and powerful yet a little baffling and tricky to work with in the long run, when this volcano of connection settles down and you are facing your normalization phase, how does that happen in such an abnormal yet beautiful situation when nothing was normal to start with. On the other hand, two people who get to know one another gradually and build their way into that spark may be just as powerful, maybe they are only peeling all those layers they have built around themselves all those years until they get to that spark! They are building their way through normalization though that spark and connection may not be as powerful as the one that took place in the situation of the first group or couple.
In all situations, regardless of how and why you meet someone, the reasons behind you loving or falling in love with them are very important. Many of us feel a void on the inside, sense a sort of disconnection with who we are and once we have a taste of the beauty of being in love, think even subconsciously that we can fill such void with that feeling, which in our eyes is that other person. This is where we trap ourselves into a false belief! Once we place such an expectation on the other, we start losing that significant other in the picture we have personally drawn of our peace and comfort, for we start in a way having them fill in that void, and erasing them in the process, and they most probably are doing the same to us without us noticing, and the storm begins to form. The volume and speed in which this happens varies depending on how much we are asking of this person, and the percentage of our void we are asking them to fill!
Who are we fooling when we do that? This is a disaster waiting to happen, and this is us turning something that maybe amazing into another disappointment, no one can fill your void, it is yours meaning you are the only one who can fill it. How you connect with you is all that matters, your significant other is there to hold your hand as you do so. Besides, how can you give what you do not have, this is why it is important to love yourself in order to be able to love others.
So why do you want to love? To have the spark, to enjoy each other’s company and to have a hand to hold on to! When you are content with yourself you can be content with the special one, coming from a place of being whole within allows you to just love and be in love and enjoy each other for who you truly are. To love freely!
Love with no chains
You can’t hold or form the love of your life.
We seem to hold onto, seize and think we can control the one we love! Do you really think this is love or is it just ownership?
As we become more attached to that special other and they become our source of self, as lousy as this may sound, we start believing that we can own them, and because they are now in control of how we feel, we try to control them in order to stay in control of how we feel which is still controlled by them. This is how lousy it sounds. Well, how about we always focus on setting them free, letting them stray loose, and have them choose to come back to us every single time. How beautiful would that love be? How magnificent and authentic would it be? But can we do that?
Yes we can! If we decide that they do not form who we are and they do not hold the key to our life source, we can enjoy their love even more beautifully. This may be difficult in the beginning but it is so worth the trouble, pain and struggle.
When our fear steps in, we need to remind ourselves that if they don’t want to be with us, we don’t want them in the first place, and if they do not know our value and cherish who we are, for who we are then they don’t deserve to be in the presence of the beauty of who we are. But first we need to know how lovely, beautiful and worthy we are, we need to understand our self-worth.
Know yourself, set your standards and be you!
Love is beautiful and it is amazing as it lasts, and if for any reason it may seize to last with that one amazing and significant person, then it is because you are meant for something better, and you are meant to meet and be with an even more loving person, with someone who will hold your hand even more firmly, who will know your true worth and value, someone with whom your moment will be even more wholehearted and your souls will shine with the spark and your spirit with flow is a beautiful rhythmic dance.
Let go and be the flow and it will only get better and better!